I have experienced very debilitating bouts of depression throughout my life and as a result been treated for unipolar depression. I realised very late in life that I have other problems going on and that antidepressants don’t work for me. I tried every anti depressant going, they calmed the depression but made the fleeting thoughts and talking worse (could potentially be the hypomania part of bipolar) and if that’s the case I was misdiagnosed and prescribed the wrong drug.
Mental/ neurodevelopmental problems can be difficult to diagnose, the outcome is based on what you tell the health professional and what they ask you. I was treated for depression because that’s all I told them but as the years have gone on, I’ve started to piece together all the other problems and realised I don’t have unipolar depression.
I came across this blog post which describes the talking https://www.bphope.com/bipolar-stories-video-blog/video-conversations-in-my-mind/
People are really starting to open up about the self talk, it’s everywhere (just google it and see for yourself). I think half the population are wired up differently, that combined with environmental factors is what’s making people ill. For some, self talk may not be a problem, for me it’s disruptive as it affects my mood and motivation. Throughout my life I have spent more time talking to myself than I have with family, my hubby and kids know I do it, they just leave me to it. This behaviour makes me isolate myself. Here’s another link which mentions self talk as a symptom of bipolar hypomania:
https://themighty.com/2018/12/embarrassing-symptoms-bipolar-disorder/
Heres a video I came across on You tube, Julie Kraft gives a helpful insight into bipolar disorder :
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=XrJmKiwxrfU
here’s her website:
https://www.juliekraft.com/
Natasha Tracy’s website, you can find her on YouTube too. https://natashatracy.com/
https://m.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLdLpWGRCe3SOf4lIFGB0snWpChv-H8mbz
https://m.youtube.com/channel/UCok5JeP_h0Emlw0EoPFlPdQ
Hannah Blum
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=YjySAWKy-wo&list=PLdLpWGRCe3SOSGi268XlwMmxoCxH6h6NQ&index=137&t=0s
Julie A. Fast
https://www.juliefast.com/
Personal story from someone talking about the stigma and isolation which comes with bipolarhttps://www.nami.org/Personal-Stories/How-Invalidating-My-Bipolar-Disorder-Invalidates-M
Another informative YouTube channel I come across, ‘bipolar line’ by Deborah Mannhttps://m.youtube.com/user/TheDeborahMann
Published by Sam K admin
Hello,
If you are reading this, chances are you typed the following words into google: ‘I TALK TO MYSELF’.
If I’m right, read on as I want to share my findings with you.
I didn’t introduce myself above as I wish to remain anonymous, I won’t be sharing personal details but you can call me Sam for now.
Mental health is a serious matter, the stigma is out of control, it exists even in health care sadly.
Words can be extremely hurtful, please be kind when commenting.
The talking behaviour I mention in my first blog, is not understood, for some it may be coping mechanism and may not be disruptive to their daily lives, for me it causes a great deal of distress and I believe it’s a symptom of something more serious.
If you are a health professional or researcher, please take note as it may help you to understand this behaviour which I believe isn’t listed in the DSM (let me know if I’m wrong) . It’s a secretive behaviour which I mentioned to my GP at the age of 16 and didn’t mention again until 25 years later as the first doctor was dismissive. The psychologist I spoke to in 2018 referred me to an ADHD specialist for assessment based on the difficulties I face on a daily basis, I wrote everything down, the only thing she failed to recognise was the talking.
That’s what led me to research for myself. In the coming weeks I will be sharing all my findings.
Although I’m an academic and don’t leave any stone unturned when researching, my writing style may not suit every reader and to be honest , it reflects the state of my chaotic mind, I suffer from considerable impaired cognition, combined with mood swings and extreme lack of motivation, which makes it difficult to gather my thoughts. If my writing isn’t coherent, you’ll just have to put up with me I’m afraid.
I hope this blog will offer comfort to people who are coping with mental illness on a daily basis.
For those who are seeking help, write down clearly what your difficulties are prior to speaking with your GP or mental health professional. Write everything, don’t be embarrassed about it, there is no shame in having a mental health problem.
If like me you are on a waiting list in the UK, you’ll have to sit tight, the waiting lists for adult mental health are ridiculous, I’ve been waiting for 14 months already, still no appointment!
I know the overwhelming despair that comes with not being able to access the right care quickly enough. Just hang in there, remember you are not alone.
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I talk to myself 